One of my pass times, other than watching new movies at the theater, is watching really bad movies. I like movies that are terrible from top to bottom. Bad story, bad dialogue, bad acting, bad production values, all these things get me excited. I thought I’d take the time to name a few that are very near and dear to me. If you want more, I would refer to IMDB’s bottom 100 list, it’s basically the best of the worst.
Frankenhooker
After his attractive fiancee is cut into pieces in a freak accident involving a lawnmower, aspiring mad scientist Jeffrey Franken is determined to put her back together again. He sets about reassembling his girlfriend using parts from a variety of New York prostitutes. Easier said than done as his attempts do not go as smoothly as he expected and hilarity ensues. However, his bizarre plan goes awry when his reanimated girlfriend no longer wants just him, but for money will take on anybody, and afterwards try to kill them. This film also features a scene that will defy all logic and common sense but it will be hard to forget.
Full Movie (NSFW) Click the link to watch it on YouTube (can’t embed):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqJzDqeKJJg
Birdemic
Rod is a young software salesman living a successful life in Silicon Valley. He meets up with old classmate and aspiring fashion model Nathalie and begins dating her. Things go well for the couple and as they grow closer, the couple remains oblivious to signs of something going wrong around them, such as unexplained wildfires and the carcasses of diseased birds turning up on beaches. Rod and Nathalie wake up one day to find that their town is under attack from eagles and vultures that spit acid and explode into flames upon striking the ground. Rod and Nathalie continue to flee from the birds, driving into a forest where they briefly meet a Tree Hugger, who explains to them that the birds have only been targeting gas stations and cars and that the attacks are the result of global warming. As they prepare to eat dinner, they are attacked by the birds, which are suddenly and for no explained reason chased away by doves. The film was made with a very small budget and trust me, it shows.
Full Movie (NSFW):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=230&v=kNSH-hIbrno
Birdemic 2: The Ressurection
Bill, an independent film director, discovers waitress Gloria and casts her in his new film, which is financed by Rod, an entrepreneur, and his wife, Nathalie. The four travel to some tar pits where they are attacked by more birds, preserved cavemen, and zombies from a nearby cemetery. Who cares? You’re not watching it for the story anyway.
Full Movie (NFSW):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gsVFZRmh8Q
The EIC of the coincidentally-named keithlovesmovies.com. A Canadian who prefers to get out of the cold and into the warmth of a movie theatre.