Netflix’s Spenser Confidential – A Dumb Hunk of Cheese

A majority of Netflix’s original content, fair or not, is something best suited for background viewing and requiring little to no thought to enjoy. Spenser Confidential, a loose remake of the late 1980s series Spenser For Hire, is yet another film doomed to that fate. Absolutely nothing about this film should come as a surprise to anyone as audiences have seen this film in one form or another countless times before. It’s a film that tries to be a lot of things without succeeding at any of them, However, this collection of mediocrity in several ways and Boston accents still manages to be somewhat entertaining despite this because of the chemistry between its two leads. In the end, it’s an overwhelming cheese-fest that’s a tad too long than it has any right to be but it works as a fun experience that will be forgotten quickly after watching.

Spenser Confidential follows a Boston ex-cop named Spenser (Wahlberg) who after being released from prison is thrust back into action after the murder of two police officers for which he shared a connection. Let’s face it, the reason why Spenser went to prison doesn’t matter or any story about him readjusting to life after prison doesn’t matter either. The story itself didn’t really matter as the winding conspiracy at its center and its many twists and turns, while obvious, is certainly not worth trying to follow as it is needlessly convoluted (which kind of goes against the kind of film it is trying to be). Everyone just wants to see Wahlberg beat people up in a the blandest of ways. At least this time he was not alone as he was joined (for some reason) by a man named Hawk (Duke), his new roommate for whom he’d develop an inevitable partnership with (because obviously). Though they were fun to watch, the film was a one man show.

From there, the story saw Spenser ruffle some feathers among his former brethren, vigilante style, in the hopes of uncovering the truth and mostly get beat up in the process over and over again as classic rock played over those scenes. While the point of it all is not to think too much about it, the predictability and derivative nature of it all made it hard to care. This fact would take a toll rather quickly as most of the film will be spent waiting for it to end. Breaking up the action were moments of humor but the problem with that was that it simply wasn’t funny. Meanwhile, those thinking that this film would be one and done, think again as there are still plenty of others in Boston needing Spenser’s help, emulating the plot of the television series which the film is based.

Ultimately, what makes Spenser Confidential work better than it probably had any right to was Wahlberg’s still decent performance as Spenser. The script reeks of cheese but his natural charisma and screen presence lift the film up to the point that it’s watchable. He can definitely handle himself with action but it’s not anything he hasn’t done before in other films. As a result, he just goes through the paces here. His chemistry with Duke’s Hawk, who was also decent while playing a thin character in his own right, was the best part of the film though their screen time together was unfortunately limited. Arkin was solid as Spenser’s father Henry, however, the other end of the spectrum was Iliza Shlesinger as Spenser’s ex-girlfriend Cissy whose over-the-top Boston caricature was utterly painful to watch (some may find her a hilarious scene-stealer but she does so for the wrong reasons).

At the end of the day, Spenser Confidential is destined to be no more than background noise that will eventually fade into obscurity among the mess of other Netflix titles.     /

*still courtesy of Netflix*

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Keith Noakes

The EIC of the coincidentally-named keithlovesmovies.com. A Canadian who prefers to get out of the cold and into the warmth of a movie theatre.