Cheaper by the Dozen – A Cheap Reboot (Early Review)

In an age of reboots and remakes, it’s no longer about whether or not they should be made or necessary but rather whether or not they can make money and in this day and age, generate subscribers. Based on the book of the same name, the original Cheaper by the Dozen film was released in 1950 before spawning a remake in 2003 and a sequel in 2005. Now the tale of the titular 12 kid family is back in another reboot also titled Cheaper by the Dozen. While it probably didn’t have to be made, it’s kind of too late to argue anymore. The film essentially brings absolutely nothing new whatsoever to the table, systematically checking all the boxes in making a mediocre watch that panders to the lowest common denominator. In spite of being a second reboot, the film is a derivative, contrived and predictable, not to mention vanilla, watch in every conceivable way. That being said, the subject matter may still work for some audiences. However, the bulk of viewers are more likely to cringe or tune out of this been-there-done-that story that reeks as a mere paycheck movie for the majority of those involved on screen and off.

This version of Cheaper by the Dozen once again follows the Bakers, a mixed-race family led by Paul (Braff) and Zoe Baker (Union), two single parents who joined their current families together before marrying. A family, this time brought together by circumstance, who did their best to make it work in their small house while going to school and working at their family all-day breakfast restaurant had their lives turned upside down. Being parents to a family of mostly young children and middle schoolers was tough to say the least as they had their struggles just like anyone in that position would but they didn’t have to do it alone. Nevertheless, Paul and Zoe’s resolve was put to the test as Paul’s successful side business venture resulted in them uprooting their family and moving to a more affluent gated community. The contrast could not have been any more clear and everything that came from that should not come as much of a surprise to anyone. Though in the end, there was still a barrier there as some took to that adjustment better than others.

Even with their new situation, Paul and Zoe’s vow to maintain a united front took a hit as the strong Baker family dynamic followed suit. A lot of that could be attributed to growing up but more opportunity made for more distance between them. The move cost them some perspective so maybe they simply needed to be reminded of the power of family above all else. That drama, the lessons that were inevitably learned as a result of the drama, and everything in between also won’t come as that much of a surprise to anyone though some may find some entertainment there. While the Baker children had plenty of personality, there’s only so much the film can do with so many characters and so little time. Besides the cuteness factor, no one is going to jump out. Meanwhile, the humor is so bland and vanilla in trying to be hip and current, it is neither funny nor endearing and just repetitive, especially the commentary on Paul and Zoe’s mixed-race family. Each of them felt like they had to prove themselves for different reasons.

The best part of Cheaper by the Dozen, ultimately, was its performances by Braff and Union as Paul and Zoe Baker. Though they lacked chemistry, they at least kept the film watchable. The directing and dull material certainly did not do them any favors but they just seemed to be going through the motions. Out of the two, Union definitely fared the best as the rock and emotional center of the family. As far as the kids were concerned, they were fine but it was just hard to care about them or their characters.

At the end of the day, Cheaper by the Dozen is a useless reboot that will still strike the right chord with some viewers but for the most part, is forgettable.

still courtesy of Disney

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Keith Noakes

The EIC of the coincidentally-named keithlovesmovies.com. A Canadian who prefers to get out of the cold and into the warmth of a movie theatre.