In my not at all humble opinion, Christmas movies tend to be… how to put this delicately… not good? This could be for any number of reasons, be it poor writing or filmmaking banking on audience nostalgia for the season (Jingle All the Way, Fred Claus), or a poor misunderstanding of the supposed values of the holiday clashing with obvious plays at commercialism (read: most of them). Or maybe sometimes, the movies in question are actually solid, but audiences are just tired of seeing the same old scenes and hearing the same five songs getting drilled into their brains nonstop for two months. (Seriously, I like Elf as much as the next guy, but if I have to hear Will Ferrell’s 10-second burp after drinking a litre of Coke one more time, I’m going to punt his curly ass across a frozen football field).
That being said, this doesn’t mean that one wants to be miserable during the holiday season, though. So, in lieu of recommending a bunch of holiday films that succeed where the majority fail, it might be more fun to put out some suggestions for films that have absolutely nothing to do with Christmas whatsoever. These are films that, tonally speaking, would still put one in a cozy, receptive mood for the season, without having to rely on the tired Christmas iconography they probably can’t escape for five seconds after walking out the door, anyway. These will be known as Anti-Christmas movies! No, these aren’t Christmas-themed films with a dirty twist to them (no Bad Santa’s or Office Christmas Party‘s to be found here), but rather Christmas-feeling films that achieve such a sensation without relying on the season’s imagery.
The ground rules? Any film that puts someone into a certain wintery or cozy vibe, in any number of ways, without involving Christmas as its central grabbing-point qualifies here. Christmas can be involved in some capacity—some of these films certainly involve the holiday as a passing plot-point—but as long as it comes and goes, it’s still game! So, let’s tuck away those sleigh bells, toss that tinsel into the fireplace and get started with our picks for 10 movies to watch when you hate Christmas movies!
The Princess Bride (1987)
Rob Reiner’s seminal fairytale classic has become a staple family viewing experience for a number of reasons. Maybe its the appeal of the film lies in its metafictional structure (a grandfather reads his grandson a bedtime story, all the while that son occasionally interjects to remind us we’re watching a fictional narrative), or maybe it’s just the novelty of seeing a new fairytale come to life in the mid-20th century, carrying with it just as much sincerity and whimsy as any of the classics Disney would dissect in their heyday (got help us in about 100 years when this book enters the public domain). In any case, The Princess Bride has become a worthy family excursion for any time of the year; there’s no reason why the Christmas season should be immune to its particular warmth.
My Neighbor Totoro (1988)
With our boy Hayao Miyazaki back in the news with The Boy and the Heron, his latest gorgeous flirtation with retirement, it only seems right to keep his spirit entrenched in the season with another cozy Studio Ghibli effort. While some of Miyazaki’s wholesome films mask an extremely dark undercurrent, My Neighbor Totoro seems like the friendliest option to put out for a Christmastime viewing. Yes, its whimsy comes in service of a story detailing the difficulties of dealing with a sick parent, but through that coping comes some of the director’s most inspired, inviting imagery to offset it; after all, there’s a reason its giant titular fluff-ball so quickly became the face of the Ghibli brand! With all the joys of Christmas comes the realization that some of us might be powering through some trying personal experiences, and My Neighbor Totoro offers a chance to acknowledge that with a cathartic sense of appreciation for the little things.
City Lights (1931)
Charlie Chaplin had to show up on this list at some point; the iconic maverick of silent cinema famously perfected the physical gag with a sentimentalism dissimilar from his contemporaries Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd. And it’s precisely that sentimentalism, never bordering into sticky schmaltz, that makes a film like City Lights a gorgeous entry in the Anti-Christmas canon. We could have gone with something like The Gold Rush since its snowy setting seemed more apt for the holiday, but in the end, City Lights is just such an achingly romantic adventure for the famous Tramp in its turn-of-the-century urban atmosphere—with its own focus on over-reliance on capitalism—that we can’t help but put it at the very top of the Chaplin viewing cycle.
McCabe & Mrs. Miller (1971)
This… this one might take a bit of explaining. Robert Altman’s revisionist Western about a wormy businessman who opens a brothel in a distant boomtown may not strike audiences as either a Christmas film or even anything remotely vibe-adjacent. But this one’s all about the wintery atmosphere enveloping the rickety environment, as Altman’s famous roving camera and overlapping dialogue put audiences into a complete trance. The film’s candlelit interiors certainly provide a warming contrast to the harsh snowfall outside, and Leonard Cohen’s songs (point for Canadian readers!) fully enhance that coziness with an unmistakable hint of melancholy. At the very least, it’s worth trying out for a change of pace… or would you all have preferred I put Fargo on this list?
Hugo (2011)
Easily the only Martin Scorsese film that would even remotely make a list like this, Hugo finds the famed maestro of violence scaling back the bloodshed in favour of his true love: the art of cinema itself. From that, the result is a wonderful little adventure about acceptance, preservation and not giving up on those who made us dream, even when they give up on themselves. Sure, the stakes of rescuing film stock may not appeal to every iPad-equipped tyke these days, but the central adventure of the film is engaging enough for any demographic, with the added benefit of appealing to us film snobs. What more could you need?
Ernest & Celestine (2012)
Ernest and Celestine might just be the perfect film for an anti-Christmas list. It’s certainly the one that inspired this entire concept, and the first one that came to mind when compiling the catalogue. A short-and-sweet tale of two unlikely friends—a bear and a mouse—who get embroiled in each other’s worlds is perhaps the most uncanny evocation of exactly the sentiment an anti-Christmas film should provide: it’s warm, it’s cozy, it’s charming, and all of this is done without a single bell jingled! The film’s gorgeous watercolour animation style will simply put audiences into a state of complete and utter bliss, whether they’re with family or enjoying a solo holiday this year. And for the love of God, watch the French version! Don’t indoctrinate your kids into the cult of dubbing!
Night on Earth (1991)
Jim Jarmusch has made an entire career out of appreciating the nuances that drive our lives, and with Night on Earth, the white-haired weirdo takes that love of the little things to its most ambitious scale, charting five cab rides across five cities worldwide. As Jarmusch takes us on a journey through Los Angeles, New York, Paris, Rome and Helsinki, different priorities make themselves apparent in the lives of both the passengers and the cab drivers themselves, providing a reminder of what motivates us to endure into the next year. Most any of Jarmusch’s films would make for an interesting anti-Christmas viewing if nothing else, but Night on Earth provides a certain chilly vibe to some of its segments that complement the season. Maybe closer to an anti-New Year’s film, but regardless, one that will definitely add some international flavour to your viewing rotation!
The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)
You want snow? Here, knock yourself out! Wes Anderson’s pastel-infused aesthetic has become so iconic these days (check your privilege, Tik Tok!) that it’s a wonder none of his films have ever been released as full-on Christmas counter-programming. (Although, to be fair, his is certainly more of a spring attitude). The Grand Budapest Hotel, easily Anderson’s magnum opus, takes that aesthetic to its greatest heights visually, while also grounding it in its most potent emotional drive since Anderson’s earlier, simpler films. The bevy of hilarious celebrity performances (Ralph Fiennes MVP) imbue the film with a bouncy energy that helps to validate the more R-rated material underneath the frosty pink and purple coating. A must-watch for any burgeoning film buff, and probably the most that your dad will laugh at any film that leaves your mom completely disarmed at what the cute little miniatures and colourful costumes have promised.
Fanny and Alexander (1984, the miniseries cut)
This is just about the closest we’re going to get to an actual Christmas movie, as a Christmas celebration takes up the whole first hour of this film! The catch? It’s actually a five-hour miniseries… did you have any other plans today? Often seen as Ingmar Bergman’s crowning achievement (depressing as I am, I’ve always found myself more partial to Scenes from a Marriage), the director’s sentimental (and loose) view of his own upbringing doesn’t shy away from the more macabre material that shaped his famously existential worldview. But beneath it all, Fanny and Alexander fosters an unbreakable bond of familial togetherness that would make even Vin Diesel proud. With this one, you get a bit of everything: some actual Christmas material (with none of the stupid songs) AND the darker elements to placate the Criterion crowd!
Paddington (2014)… and Paddington 2 (2017)
That’s right, we’re cheating here… and I don’t think anyone is going to object given the circumstances. With Paul King’s Wonka making its way to theatres (as a cold reminder that the director tragically had to drop out of closing the Paddington trilogy to make Lil Timmy Tim go Willy), it’s only right to go back to the film(s) that put King on the map as a modern-day harbinger of wholesomeness. Paddington became an instant classic with the director’s firm grasp on the values of kindness and humanism (bearism?), and Ben Whishaw’s voice provided a perfect conduit for those lessons—would you believe that he got the part after Colin Firth’s last-minute drop-out? With the sequel, King essentially doubled down on Paddington’s adorable selflessness, giving audiences a tear-jerker that would melt even the Grinch’s three-sizes-too-small heart… yes, I cried. With that, the Paddington duo marks the perfect double-feature for any anti-Christmas occasion!
So, there you have it: 10 (11) films to watch for Christmas when you’re tired of Christmas films! Don’t take this as an attack on traditionalism or the value of enjoying a classic with loved ones, but rather, as an opportunity to introduce new potential classics to your repertoire, with the added bonus of a different flavour of fun to spice up the season! With all that said, whether you’re celebrating the season with loved ones, carving out some much-earned me-time, or just trying to shield yourself from the onslaught of Christmas cheer on every street corner, pop in any one of these gems and immerse yourself into something new. But most importantly, have a happy holiday season!
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