Pee-Wee as Himself: The Tragic Tale of a Flawed Genius

Beloved children’s entertainer Pee-Wee Herman has dazzled audiences for nearly 40 years but he didn’t necessarily start off that way. Behind the grey plaid suit and red bowtie was Paul Reubens, the man behind the character and one who had become essentially anonymous, hiding behind Pee-Wee for so long because it was easier than facing his truth. As Reubens’ own identity grew into a distant blur, that position is one that proved to be quite lonely for him. A normally private person, it just made sense to guard the true depths of himself with characters. However, that facade can only last so long. Pee-Wee as Himself, premiering at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, is an extensive documentary centered around the life and times of the creator of the iconic titular character, Paul Reubens. From the good times, to the bad ones, the film, directed by Matt Wolf, sees Paul attempt to set the record straight about a man who became forgotten over the years, living beneath the shadow of his most famous character. Shining a light on the true genius of Reubens as an actor and performance artist, his creative mind was something seldom acknowledged for the success of Pee-Wee, and his work as part of The Groundlings. Ultimately, where the film truly shines is in its depiction of such a complicated man struggling with identity and his sense of self, hiding in one way or another for much of his life.

Pee-Wee as Himself doesn’t reinvent the wheel in terms of the standard documentary format, featuring the talking heads and exhaustive archival footage (much of it from Paul Reubens himself). Putting Paul front and center, spending 40-hours interviewing him for the film. Watching him recount his experiences, and sometimes be playfully (or maybe not) combative as he still held some apprehension about giving up control of his story, and how it would be told, to someone else, was compelling. From his early days, he was a creative type just looking for an outlet. Reubens’ inspiration was rooted in his affinity for classic children’s television, while his love of performing went back to his fascination with the performative nature of the circus. His dream was to be on stage and perform. Raised in an albeit different time by parents who were still supportive, all they wanted for their children was to achieve their dreams. Cutting his chops on the stage his dad built in the basement of their Sarasota, Florida home, Paul had a venue where he, his younger sister, and other local kids, could express himself creatively by putting on shows for his parents and the neighborhood.

Taking the idea of becoming a performance artist even further, after studying theatre at Boston University, Paul continued to hone his craft at the California Institute of the Arts during the 1970s (bumping shoulders with the likes of David Hasselhoff, Katey Sagal, and Casandra Peterson a.k.a. Elvira), in the hopes of becoming a serious actor. Appearing in a series of smaller independent and student films across the early 1970s. In the midst of a time where being gay was frowned upon, he had to hide that part of himself to survive and to his credit, he was good at it. Once he realized his middling dramatic acting career wasn’t giving him the kind of platform he wanted, Paul turned to comedy. Paying his dues once again with the legendary Groundlings Improv Comedy school, he learned how to be a different type of performer. Learning comedy and creating characters, comedy seemed to be the best outlet for his imagination. Later joining the Groundlings troupe, Paul met Phil Hartman for whom he would become longtime friends with. Over his time with the troupe, he developed his characters but the most popular was of course Pee-Wee Herman.

From there, developing the character even further to see how far he could go with the Groundlings, Pee-Wee Herman became the star of his own stage show. Setting the foundation of what was to come, the show was a surprise hit, appealing to older audiences and stoners. Chronicling the development of the Pee-Wee Herman character and his stage show, it offers audiences, and fans of Pee-Wee, the kind of unparalleled access and insight behind these scenes will leave most appreciative of the level of collaborative creativity on display. That energy is carried over to first feature debut (and also director Tim Burton’s), 1985’s Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure. With the success of the stage show, Hollywood took notice as Warner Bros. were willing to give Reubens and Pee-Wee Herman a chance in a film that even defied their own expectations. The consummate control freak, success breaded confidence but also resentment as Pee-Wee received more attention for Reubens’ accomplishments. Meanwhile, as Pee-Wee’s star continued to rise, Paul Reubens increasingly faded into obscurity, giving him a figure to hide behind while also leaving him in a lonely position.

Nevertheless, Paul persisted but becoming so synonymous with Pee-Wee Herman, it was easier to be him than be himself. A stark indictment of pop culture in the 1980s, the context and the layers of pain behind the facade he had been hiding behind for so long. As his loneliness grew and his career hit some turbulence, he had to slow down but being someone else for so long, someone who much the world had such a strong emotional connection with, it was difficult to just be Paul Reubens. Lost and embarking on a journey of self-rediscovery, that journey did not come without some trouble. Sullying the memory of Pee-Wee in the eyes of many, it was about time for Paul to be Paul again. Seeing a resurgence, his comeback trail was compelling to watch until more friction threatened to bring him down for good. Once again finding a way through, and bringing Pee-Wee back out for one more film and a Broadway show, armed with the perspective of living a complicated life full of ups and downs, this added yet another dimension to Paul’s account and made for an interesting final act. Unbeknownst to the filmmakers, Paul found himself in a years long battle with lung cancer for which he would succumb to just a few months following the end of production of Pee-Wee as Himself in July 2023. An audio message recorded a mere day before his death addressing the bevy of allegations made against him ultimately left a chilling note that will be hard to forget.

In the end, Pee-Wee as Himself can only go as far as Paul will take it and to his credit, the level of access and the vulnerability he displays across Wolf’s interview footage is equal parts tragic and endearing. The persona of the outsider looking for somewhere to belong is one that countless audiences will connect to. Very much a creative genius, Paul was flawed and made many mistakes over the course of his life but he just lost himself under the weight of the many identities he had to assume. Gay, straight, Pee-Wee Herman, or Paul, it is easy to lose one’s self while playing all these characters to survive a time where being gay, let alone in Hollywood, was considered a death sentence for one’s career. The pressure of maintaining all these personas to hide his inner struggles would be too much for anyone to deal with. Now times have changed since Paul’s career began back in the heart of the 1970s but that being said, the film should be commended for finally giving him the credit that he is due, something long time fans of Reubens and Pee-Wee Herman have been waiting to see for a long time.

Pee-Wee as Himself is a fantastic documentary offering unparalleled access into the tragic life of the man behind the iconic character. With a runtime of 200 minutes, over 2 parts, the intermission of sorts between both parts plays well in terms of the story as a whole and gives audiences the option to tackle the film at their own pace but either way, Reubens is such an intriguing figure to watch, it won’t matter.

Score: 92/100

still courtesy of HBO

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Keith Noakes

The EIC of the coincidentally-named keithlovesmovies.com. A Canadian who prefers to get out of the cold and into the warmth of a movie theatre.