Stop! That! Train! – Hollywood Needs to Stop! Using! AI!

When it comes to niche film genres, there’s no canon quite like the disaster comedy. Forever granted the eternal mandate of heaven for ZAZ (Zucker, Abrams, Zucker)’s ‘Airplane!,’ the concept of snowballing catastrophe, at the very least, makes for good entertainment. Are they high art? Not really. Are they funny? Sometimes! There’s fun to be had in watching the dominoes fall in an increasingly absurd order, and an undeniable art in setting them up in the correct order. To its credit, director Adam Shankman’s drag queen star vehicle, Stop! That! Train!, does so to solid effect, though there’s one additional disaster that has yet to be addressed: the film’s use of generative AI and why it’s insanely worrying.

RuPaul’s Drag Race breakouts Ginger Minj and Jujubee star as Tess and Deedee, two train attendants from the defunct Stank Rail who disguise themselves as stewardesses for the glitzy Glamazonian Express. Off-rip, Stop! That! Train! is undoubtedly admirable, as the drag queens play female characters without ever drawing attention to that notion. Without having ever seen a single episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, the star power between Minj and Jujubee is undeniable (I’d love to see them in another movie soon). It’s certainly a progressive move that moves the needle forward for performers outside of the gender binary, though it’s truly unfortunate that Stop! That! Train! pushes other needles backward in the process.

For maybe twenty or so minutes, Stop! That! Train! actually works as an offbeat studio comedy. Both leads are outrageously funny, with their dynamic functioning as the film’s beating heart. Whenever it’s just them vamping and being silly together, Stop! That! Train! soars. The dynamic shifts when the duo face off against the Glamazonian Express’ equivalent of the Plastics from Mean Girls (Brooke Lynn Hytes, Marcia Marcia Marcia, Symone), who are as catty as they are pompous. As far as first acts go, Stop! That! Train!’s is relatively solid, though whatever fun there is to be had is quickly interrupted by egregious-looking AI-generated visual effects of the titular train—what ever happened to a good old-fashioned miniature?

Upon seeing AI garbage—no matter how much—in a movie that I bought a ticket for with my hard-earned money, it’s hard to feel anything other than insulted. Beyond being ugly as all get out, using AI in a feature film indicates a lack of care. One can’t expect renowned oil tycoon RuPaul Charles (who plays President Judy Gagwell in the film) to be above cutting corners, though it’s such a shame for such a decision to have been made in the first place. It puts a damper on a film that’s otherwise charming, entertaining, and goofy. Using AI is certainly a disservice to the audience, but it’s an even greater disservice to everyone else involved with the project at large.

If anyone’s to carry the bulk of the embarrassment on display here, it’s Shankman. Though he was once a reliable studio comedy and musical director, that was back in 2007 with his adaptation of ‘Hairspray.’ Twenty years later, he’s lying about AI use in his newest studio comedy, arguing in favor of Stop! That! Train!’s authenticity before tucking tail in an interview with Xtra Magazine. It’s a ridiculous Streisand effect that puts a permanent stain on the final product, a final product that I would’ve otherwise enjoyed. There’s genuine fun and even potential rewatch value to Stop! That! Train!, though such a frivolous move simply derails the whole shebang; it’s simply a disastrous disaster movie.

What’s ironic about Stop! That! Train! is that people (mostly the world’s 1%) keep comparing AI to an unstoppable train, instead encouraging us to submit and bow to our new techno-overlords. Why are celebs like Reese Witherspoon or college salutatorians not only trying to normalize AI, but telling us to just (no pun intended) get with the program? Normalization allows AI to seep into every facet of our lives (I can’t even perform a standard Google search anymore), and now it’s trickling into the film industry at an alarming rate. Indie projects like Harmony Korine’s ‘AGGRO DR1FT‘ or the Cairnes brothers’ ‘Late Night with the Devil‘ are just raindrops compared to the onslaught of slop on the horizon.

Keeping the AI controversy in mind, Stop! That! Train! is one of the more frustrating films in recent memory. Were it not for the AI nonsense, I would’ve found myself rewatching it on some fateful day. Instead, in the words of Tom Cruise, I don’t ever want to see it again. Unfortunate as it is for one meager aspect to capsize the film, we, as audiences, can’t let this stuff slide unnoticed. On top of that, the AI nonsense also undercuts what could’ve made Stop! That! Train! memorably entertaining—what could’ve served as progressive is regressive instead. Contrary to what out-of-touch corporate bigwigs think, we don’t have to play possum and accept this as our new reality.

still courtesy of Mongrel Media

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Luca Mehta