Netflix’s We Can Be Heroes – A Dated Cheesefest

For those who weren’t aware, We Can Be Heroes, is a sequel to 2005’s Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Meanwhile, 2005 was a very long time ago though it may feel like longer for some. The Spy Kids (or Spy Kids adjacent) universe also feels like an afterthought now in 2020 though it surely still has its fans. That being said, the film certainly feels like one made for those fans. Otherwise, it’s an extremely dated and a painfully cheesy and ridiculous experience whose appeal will be limited to younger audiences and said fans who will all undoubtedly be dazzled by the film’s colorful imagery and incredibly silly premise (but some will tune it out before any of that happens). The film’s ultimate success will inevitably lie with viewers’ ability to get behind the latter. Not being part of the film’s target demographic, it was a tough thing to do but the film is definitely going to have some people feeling old by the end.

When it comes to a film like We Can Be Heroes, the story doesn’t really matter all that much as it liked to play around with logic and forced contrivances in order to create an extremely predictable end (being a children’s film along with all of the film’s title and promotional material more or less imply it already). As far as the film is concerned, it’s all about the kids and for some, that will be enough as many younger audiences will surely connect with the film’s diverse cast. It’s just a shame that the dialog was so cheesy and cringeworthy in addition to the ridiculous plot. Nevertheless, with the Earth’s dynamic team of superheroes captured by a mysterious alien threat (if you can call them that considering how easily they were captured despite their respective powers), it will be up to them to come together and work as a team to escape their government handlers (if you can call them that considering how easily they got away) in order to stop the aliens’ plan and save their parents and the world. Everything else doesn’t really matter at all but the film still clocks in at 100 minutes anyway.

While the adult superhero characters are dull despite the all-star cast, the kid characters are even worse, with even more ridiculous powers. Being pressed into working together unsurprisingly presented its own set of challenges therefore hijinks ensued, relying mostly on tired and/or lazy humor that gets old fairly quickly. In the end, the lack of developed characters or plot made for little to no stakes whatsoever, in turn providing little to no reason to care for anything that happens here for 100 minutes. The predictability factor as well as the subpar material and lack of stakes result in a painful watch more often than not. The special effects and the colorful set design be it the various superpowers or the film world, while not revolutionary by any means, were fine and expectedly just as over-the-top as the rest of the film but they essentially didn’t matter.

The best part of We Can Be Heroes were the performances by default. In spite of the dull and thin characters, they ranged from just okay to phoning it in, eventually all falling victim to the subpar material more akin to a late 90s to early 00s straight-to-video release (it might have gotten away with it then but it doesn’t work nearly as well now). Leading the way were Gosselin and Pedro Pascal as father and daughter combo Missy and Marcus Moreno. Though the latter charmed his way through his limited screen time, the former couldn’t quite carry the weight of the film. While the other kids were fine in inconsequential roles, the parent superheroes were merely glorified phoned in cameos.

At the end of the day, We Can Be Heroes will find an audience regardless but it seems like it may be too little too late.

still courtesy of Netflix

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Keith Noakes

The EIC of the coincidentally-named keithlovesmovies.com. A Canadian who prefers to get out of the cold and into the warmth of a movie theatre.