Bride Hard: An Ill-Conceived Exercise in Futility

Going off just the title of Bride Hard, the works which the film is alluding to are rather obvious. Rebel Wilson, meanwhile, is an acquired taste for many audiences as an actress as her boisterous energy and sense of humor have been known to rub some the wrong way. Starring in this latest effort from director Simon West, perhaps best known for directing 1997’s Con Air, those who aren’t already fans of Wilson are unlikely to change their minds. In fact, some will find themselves reassessing their feelings about everyone involved both in front of and behind the camera for having agreed to participate in this contender for one of the worst films of the year. In trying to present both a parody of spy and wedding films, Bride Hard is an action comedy that fails miserably at both before completely giving up altogether come its third act. On top of being too long, featuring autopilot direction and a completely amateurish script without any grasp of how comedy or even how a film in general works, the result is a nearly 2-hour state of perpetual cringe that offers little to no relief. That being said, others may find redeeming qualities within its overly goofy package and some laughs from its cringeworthy humor. However, those looking for laughs and thrills can get those from countless other films that all do the same things Bride Hard does but better.

Seeing only the title of Bride Hard on paper, many can probably decipher its premise but for those who haven’t, the film is centered around Sam (Wilson), a secret agent and the maid of honor at her best friend Betsy’s (Camp) wedding. Estranged because of an occupation that often kept the two apart, the wedding was their chance to reconnect. However, it wouldn’t be much of a film without something rolling in to complicate matters. As an agent, Sam was a loose canon who ran towards danger instead of away from it, using her special set of skills and working alone to dispatch all the bad guys and save the world alongside her handler Nadine (Sherry Cola). More than equipped to handle herself in the field, she will need to use all those skills once a group of mercenaries took over the wedding and held everyone hostage. Pulling further away from Betsy, this was a chance for Sam to save the day and reprove herself as Betsy’s best friend. Adding characters and subplots to add length to the running time to distract from the main selling point of the film, they don’t matter in the grand scheme. It’s all about watching Sam take on a group of nameless mercenaries with derivative motivations in a series of clumsily choreographed action sequences to reflect her unorthodox nature.

Keeping her personal and professional lives separate for so long, for Sam, there was no hiding who she was from her friends anymore. Along with Betsy, she, Lydia (Da’Vine Joy Randolph), Zoe (Gigi Zumbado), they were a tight group that time drove apart as they moved on from college and forward with their lives. Joining the group was Virginia (Chlumsky), Betsy’s future sister-in-law, all bridesmaids for Betsy’s wedding. Not the biggest fan of Sam, she not so subtly worked to usurp her position within Betsy’s friend group. Despite her strained relationship with Betsy, the position of her best friend was something she was not willing to give up without a fight. Sam’s involvement, or lack there of, in their friend group did not go unnoticed by said friends, who put up with her antics. Faced with seemingly insurmountable odds against what would be the tamest of mercenaries, the tables quickly turned as Sam took care of the mercenaries quite easily. However, overcoming this crisis was not something she could accomplish on her own so the lone wolf would need to accept help. Therefore, cue the bridesmaids who would join in on the clumsily orchestrated action. That being said, while the final outcome was never in question, the film feels the need to overinflate the situation in trying to settle the unnecessary subplots and plot beats it tacked on.

Providing whimpers in the way of excitement and crickets in the way of humor, Bride Hard is an absolute chore to watch and it all boils down to its awful script that fails at taking elements of the films it tries to emulate and putting them together in a cohesive way. Similarly, the level of storytelling leaves much to be desired, drowning audiences in exposition, tropes, and horrendous dialog that stands out for the wrong reasons. Those looking for any redeeming qualities are unlikely to find any here. All of its considerable flaws aside, the potential saving grace, at least on paper, is the reunion of Pitch Perfect co-stars Wilson and Camp. Unlike the rest of the cast who contribute very little, the two have a chemistry that still kind of works here, but the material lets them, and everyone else for that matter, down considerably.

In the end, in spite of what its title may suggest, Bride Hard does not go very hard or anywhere in the grand scheme. A textbook dud and paycheque film, it fails to fire on any cylinder. Offering little in the way of entertainment, it is worse than a misfire. Rather, this ill-conceived film is simply an exercise in futility that will merely fade into obscurity.

still courtesy of Sherry Media Group

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Keith Noakes

The EIC of the coincidentally-named keithlovesmovies.com. A Canadian who prefers to get out of the cold and into the warmth of a movie theatre.