Netflix’s There’s Someone Inside Your House – There’s Nobody Home

Continuing the trend of monthly holiday-themed Netflix releases, cue There’s Someone Inside Your House, a film equivalent of a high school production that the producers of the Stranger Things and The Conjuring franchises threw together to have a slasher movie to drop in time for Halloween. While it may be short and paced fairly well, clocking in at just over the 90 minute mark, trying to find many more positives will be quite the challenge.

There’s Someone Inside Your House begins with a predictable bit of bloodshed as a jock football player returns home and takes a nap only to wake up and fall victim to every murder victim trope ever. From there, the film moves on to our main group of semi-outcast seniors sitting around a makeshift memorial for the deceased and up walks the new kid Makani (Park), that has a mysterious past and somber mood. Around the table we have Alex (Cooper) the standard sassy black girl, Zach (Dale Whibley) the rich white kid that smokes weed, Darby (Jesse LaTourette) the NASA loving token LGBTQ representative and Rodrigo (Diego Josef) one of the last two ethnic minorities available so the film could get some good racial representation.

Once there’s been enough teenager deaths die and our minds have turned back on after disengaging with our bodies, it becomes abundantly clear that anybody can make a movie. You don’t need great actors and performances, screenwriters constantly revising the script, a director that knows what he’s doing or anything else that would make the film an enjoyable experience. The twist ending that comes right on cue is less about being a well designed, intellectually crafted surprise and more about a random, roll of the dice, “this guy did it and nobody could see it coming” type of calculation. While there wasn’t necessarily terrible about the young cast of There’s Someone Inside Your House, they still did a mediocre job at pulling any pieces of this very poor screenplay together in any cohesive way. For those just looking to see some blood splatter, they’ll get a decent bit of gore here but for those looking to spend their time with something even remotely interesting, there time will be better spent with one of the classic gore-fests that all surpass this film in virtually every way.

In the end, There’s Someone Inside Your House feels like Netflix needed another Halloween/October scary movie (although this one is not scary in the slightest) to put on it’s slate and asked for some of the producers they have worked with to give them the best they had. Then an hour later at the board room meeting someone pitches this and since there seemingly wasn’t anything better, this one got the green light. Bottom line is, don’t let this someone inside your house this Halloween because in virtually every possible way a film can be, there’s nobody home.

Prospective viewers should make it their aim to steer clear of this one if at all possible as watching it will make them wish There’s Someone Inside Your House to put themselves out of their misery.

still courtesy of Netflix

(original review)

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Russell Miller

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